Family Tips

Very few people won’t agree that children - are fine. But there are cases when their birth is undesirable.
To kill unborn child – a big sin, therefore each sane, civilized person is obliged to take care of protection from undesirable pregnancy.
And it concerns not only women, but also men, considering that there is now great variety of contraceptive means.

There are so-called mechanical or barrier contraceptives which hinder penetration of spermatozoons: intrauterine contraception, condoms. The first start to function right after introduction and ability to become pregnant renews right after its removal, that is from the beginning of a new cycle, but they do not protect from Sexually Transmitted Diseases, and can increase duration of catamenia.

The second perfectly protect from illnesses, undesirable pregnancy, but many complain that cannot feel all charm of intimate relations.

Learn to see the positive side of things. How often do you wake up in the morning grumbling? Pay attention that children very seldom wake up in a bad mood. They are ready to be pleased with each new day! Any trifle causes delight: new, cheap, a toy and simply a trip to a new place.

Learn to see the world without prejudices. Children initially have no prejudices and perceive people from the impressions. They more easily submit to circumstances than adults.
Children in their estimation of the person never look at the well-being, color of skin, etc. If the child loves any person – it’s only for internal qualities - care, compassion, cheerfulness, etc., instead of how he looks, behaves or which toys gives. As a rule, if the small child has prejudices they are imposed to him by adults.

Learn to be honest. The child initially is not inclined to lie. All his “lie” is harmless imaginations. Children younger than six years frequently tell the stories thought out by them and sometimes they even trust these stories. It is not lie or deceit; they just do not precisely distinguish a reality from fiction. Child learns to lie knowingly from adults, and first “teachers”, unfortunately, are parents.

Learn not to give up. Have you ever seen the child, trying to learn to go? He or she falls, rises, again falls and again rises. Children are incredibly persistent and persevering in their desire to achieve something. Besides they have a good stock of patience and can wait for results of the activity for a long time.

We have got used to teach children everything. But actually the adult also have something to learn from children. You should only want it and open the soul to the world the way children do it.

Learn to laugh. Children are able to laugh very well - with great ease and from the heart. Sometimes they laugh even through the wet tears. And frequently they laugh simply because they want to laugh at the given moment, not paying attention to surrounding people and conventionalities. It is proved, that the frank laughter is useful both for a body, and for mentality. Have you laughed today?

Learn to be surprised. Children actively investigate this world. They feel curiosity and surprise at a meeting with any new thing or event. Why many adults become such boring and prefer cynicism to a joyful surprise? May be because they got used to hide behind cynicism, like behind a fence, the true feelings, which they are ashamed of for some reasons?
Actually there is nothing shameful in curiosity and surprise. Adults forget how to be interested in a life and to take pleasure from the life, from fine events, such as the first flower in spring or a beautiful butterfly.

American scientists have proved that women with the bigger difference between the size of a waist and hips are more intelligent and give birth to children with higher intellectual faculties.

Researchers from the Californian University in Santa Barbara and University of Pittsburgh have found out that women’s hips contain fat acids omega-3 which promotes development of mother’s brain and also the child during pregnancy.

“Round hips contain the important nutrients which promote development of a brain and help to give birth to clever children”, - has explained one of researchers, Stephen Galin from University of Santa Barbara.

“Men subconsciously pay attention to pneumatic forms as it is important for reproduction. Now we know biochemical hidden motive of such popularity”, - has noted William Lassek from University of Pittsburgh, informs Daily Telegraph.

So to beat or not beat? Civilized Europe has made the following decision - not to beat! For example, in Sweden, if the police notice a bruise, bump, abrasion on a body of the child, if it is proved to be parents’ handwork, daddy and mummy will go straight to prison. The same can be told about France, Italy, England, etc.

Europe denies corporal punishments. But this denying also contains latent danger. Who can guarantee that not punishing the child physically, parents won’t start “to beat” the child morally?

And maybe, more terrible isn’t the form of punishment, but that the parents do not know enough to stop punishing the progeny?

«Be friends with your children and then everything will be Ok », - exclaim Americans.

In 80s years «School and a life» magazine published the letter of one mum who confessed: every time, when her son committed an offence, it was she, who was punished, for example, the husband deprived her of sweets, did not allow watching favorite films, etc. Son pitied mum, and the boy began to study well, learned to live in harmony with his family.

 So, how the child should be brought up? If you have exact recipes, may be you are self-sufficient?

«… Council of Europe has begun large-scale campaign aimed at prohibition of corporal punishments of children in member-countries. Council of Europe considers as such slap in the face, box on the ears, slaps, etc. The Deputy Secretary General of Council of Europe Mod de Burburikkio, supervising questions of protection of children, has emphasized that such punishments break human dignity of the child. For today only 16 countries-members of Council have taken restrictive measures in the field of children punishment (both at school, and at home). The leader by the amount of legislative amendments connected to children’s defense is Sweden… »

Do you rightly punish children for their offences? How exactly do you punish the child? Do you allow such punishment, as beating and slaps in the face? How these punishments will be reflected in character and state of mind of your son or daughter?

Becoming a dialogue with own conscience and senses, parents keep on asking a question (good, if they do it) “to beat or to not beat” (the matter doesn’t concern violence, but educational measure) a prankish child? The answer to this question is still opened. Today even more often you can hear statements like these: «Beating, as a method of education, should pass into nothingness, as it generates aggression in child’s soul», «Beating is not necessary, all questions can be solved in a civilized way».
It is curious, that some physicians assert that in no circumstances parents should whip children (mainly boys) before pubescence, because susceptibility to homosexuality is born in the process of whipping (from arising feelings).

The results of a new research devoted to secrets of family happiness were published in the USA.

Since 1990 the percentage of Americans thinking that children are very important for a happy matrimony sharply decreased. As it appeared, more and more people consider that a key to family happiness is in division of family duties.

According to the last research, in which participated more than 2000 Americans, presence of children is less important for a marriage, than such factors, as division of household duties, good housekeeping, sufficient income, happy sexual mutual relations and fidelity.

If in 1990 65 % of respondents thought that children are of great importance for family happiness, now only 41 % are sure in it. About three of four Americans are convinced that the main purpose of a marriage is mutual happiness and contentment of adults, instead of a birth and upbringing of children.

Analytics believe that mass culture is more and more directed toward contentment of adults’ desires and fancies. In comparison with them, the values connected to children: care, stability, holocaust, - seem out-of-date and banal.

Also such result is caused by insufficient state assistance to young families who want to have children. The matter concerns, in particular, granting to one of the parents a paid child rearing leave and subsidizing of children’s public health services.

The key to happy relations is acceptance that hard times are inevitable in a marriage, consider psychologists.

Psychotherapists from Californian University consider that the programmed perception that difficulties are inevitable makes marriage steadier to them. In their opinion, modern love stories and fairy tales form in public consciousness myth that ideal relations are not only theoretically possible, but real.

Authors of the research Doctor Diana Gerhard and Doctor Eric MakCollum consider to be a myth opinion of many people that they are able to create ideal relations. And professional advisers cannot help with this situation. The confidence that something ideal exists, can sooner or later force the person to feel defeated. Thus he begins to be focused on negative and will be even more disappointed.

There is the only way out - to understand that healthy relations, as well as a life in general, cannot stay in constant well-being and temporal difficulties and disappointments, unfortunately, are inevitable.

Experts from Rutgers University have conducted a research and found out that feminism not only does not prevent romantic love relations between a man and a woman, but also strengthens them.
Scientists have conducted a research in which participated more than 500 people of different age. In result it was found out that if a man sympathizes with the ideals of feminism, his relations with a girlfriend or a wife are at higher spiritual level. Besides, men who have love relations with the feminist enjoy more stable relations and feel the bigger sexual contentment. Experts also mark that during their scientific research it was found out that widespread believe about feminists as about lonely, physically unattractive women who frequently prefer love with representatives of the same sex, is far from the truth.

The ideology of feminism began to be formed at the beginning of the 20-th century. This is rather dissimilar and contradictory social-economic and philosophical-ethical doctrine. As is known that the feminism has appeared and continues to develop on a wave of struggle for gender equality.

There are some precise signs, which say that is time to go to the doctor (depression, unlike melancholy and grief, is a serious illness and demands medical aid):

- The bad mood, weakness, impossibility to concentrate last day by day longer than 5 - 7 days; 
- You wake up already in melancholy, with bad thoughts;
- The depressive mood does not correspond to an objective situation, that is arises on a background of the general well-being;
- Sleep disturbance - or day time drowse, or painful night sleep, early awakening and impossibility to fall asleep again;
-  Thoughts about suicide - direct or veiled such as «they will do better without me», «I don’t understand, what I am living for», etc.