Family Tips

Much depends on psychotype. An acute stress can cause posttraumatic depression, but there are frequent cases when the shock, on the contrary, breaks off depressive attack. Other kinds of melancholy are more often based on accumulation of negative emotions. Sometimes, «to untwist a spiral» of illnesses, the psychologist should “wind off” the life of the patient on several years ago. Sometimes the long stress has just mental manifestations - barefaced depression, development of phobias (every possible fears). And sometimes it provokes internal diseases. These are called by psychiatrists concealed or somatic depressions.
Choleric persons have most frequently the stress masked as cardiovascular illnesses (hypertension, coronary heart disease, heart attack), duodenal ulcer, urological problems.

Melancholiacs, as a consequence of depression, may have stomach ulcer, asthmatoid conditions, can be poured out in a stomach ulcer, neurodermatitis.
Sanguine and phlegmatic persons are less inclined to diseases because of nerves.

If it seemed to you, that SMS-dependence can be your problem, try the following.

SMS take away a lot of time. Imagine how you could spend this time with the greater benefit. “Benefits” are not only career successes or an opportunity to learn foreign language. SMS-communication is closely connected to emotional sphere – than how you can entertain yourselves? Perhaps, it is better to go to cinema or to chat with friends without the help of mobile phone?

Analyse, to whom (Friends? Men? Colleagues? Parents?) and what you write more often, and direct your activity in a corresponding channel – to solve a specific problem.

Agree with friends that they, for example, answer only 2 of your SMS in a day. The others let be without attention. Most likely, you will be bored very soon.

At those moments when it will not entail really serious problems, try “to forget” phone at home or at the girlfriend. It is radical enough step, but it helps to understand, that there is nothing terrible in absence of opportunity to write SMS.

Even children today are able to send sms. With their help you can not only communicate with friends, but also receive pictures or melodies for phone, find out weather, exchange rate and many other things. At the same time the first function - communication - all the same remains the most important. And important to that extend that many user of cellular communication sometimes become subject to a kind of SMS-dependence.

Existence of SMS-mania is recognized, and dependence from such, apparently, harmless SMS is already the reality.

Here some causes, though very often one of them is enough.

1. Speed and convenience of communication
The advantages are evident, but there is one lack. SMS can not reproduce emotions and mood. However the person who has got used to SMS sometimes does not catch it and continues “to scribble” messages even when it is not simply possible, but necessary to speak “alive”.

2. The boredom and inability to do with themselves
This circumstance can provoke many “dependences”, and SMS-passion, perhaps, is the most harmless of them.

3. Uneasiness and fear of a dialogue

Absence of confident dialogue’s skills naturally leads to that you try to reduce this dialogue to a minimum. It is clear, that to write in this case is much more acceptable way out, rather than call or talk. Fear to disturb or appear off the point also play their roles.

US researchers came to a conclusion, that now women are more unhappy than men. Modern women have more opportunities to realize themselves. But they have also more problems, show the data of the survey.

Scientists claim, that modern men have learned to have more rest and work less, while modern women work much more, than it was in 60s years.

In their research spouses-economists Betsy Stevenson and Justin Wolfers from University of Pennsylvania assert, that in 1976 16 % of men were satisfied with the life. The amount of happy men has increased for today up to 25 %.

However the number of happy women makes only 22 %.

According to the scientists, 40 years ago women were happier, as had fewer ambitions. They compared themselves with other representatives of the sex, but never compared with men.

Researchers from University of New Jersey have found out, that modern men try to be engaged less in unpleasant occupation. And women besides housekeeping are obliged to earn money.

According to the survey, presently a woman spends 23 hours a week on routine occupation, and a man - only 2 hours.

Under the statement of the researchers, modern women simply have not time to make everything, that have planned, therefore frequently feel unsatisfied.

The loneliness in the most fatal image affects person’s health.

To such conclusion came the American scientists who have identified a sample of genic form in immune cells of people constantly experiencing high level of social isolation.

The data, received during the research of David Jeffen medical school prove that the lonely life is connected to changes in activity of genes which are responsible for inflammation in an organism, weakening of immune system and increase in risks of virus infections, cancer and heart illness.

Experts from University of Chicago used DNA microsets to spot work of all known human genes in white blood cells.

The analysis has shown, 209 genic decodings were differentially expressed between two groups of participants.

Genes in leukocytes of lonely people have been modified and caused breakdown of immune system protective functions and anti-virus responses of an organism.

The wedding dress is bought, cars are ordered, and guests have already received invitations. However you are worried. Literally some days prior to the solemn ceremony you are a prey to doubts - whether you have made the right choice?

“I have suddenly understood, that was mistaken, that, probably, he is not that person, whom I searched. Certainly, it is sad, but it is better to leave now, than in some months after wedding to say to all friends and relatives about  the divorce “.
To keep tender relations, it would be better before the wedding to discuss all possible problems and doubts.

Financial difficulties are the serious reason to reconsider once again your relations. Many psychologists agree that the marriage will be obviously unsuccessful in case of the financial inconsistency of the head of the family, and also if spouses have different interests or sexual incompatibility.
First of all, an excitement before wedding is quite common phenomenon, the natural fear before a new independent life. However this fear should be overcome.
To break off relations before wedding is a drastic step, but nevertheless it is necessary to think before making it. To find the person who will be ideal is almost impossible task, and to destroy already settled relations is much easier, than to begin all anew.

If you want to test your family relations – go on holiday! As it was found out, it is the big test for them.
To such conclusion came German psychologists, basing on the information of the lawyers, which says that each third application for divorce is handed after a joint summer vacation.
The explanation of this situation is banal: for long years of wedding, spouses have almost nothing to speak about and spending time together for modern married couples becomes somehow unusual.
If to believe statistics, dialogue between spouses is limited to only 10 minutes in a day – so it turns out, that all “chronic� family disagreements start to emerge during the vacation. First of all it concerns those couples with long family experience: their relations have already turned to routine, and vacation only aggravates this state of affairs.
By the way, researchers pay general attention that initiators of after holiday divorce are more often women. The reason is banal as well as divorces – women don’t like when husbands start to give orders, while women to mature age have already found sufficient financial independence.

Research has shown that the marriage positively influences man’s health - almost half of bachelors died before married men. At the same time concealing of family problems can be unhealthy.
According to Eaker Epidemiology Enterprises research, suppression of emotions twice raises risk of depression, illnesses and death rates at married women.
During a ten years’ period experts supervised a state of health and development of illnesses in 3,682 thousand men and women.
Results have shown that the marriage positively influences man’s health - almost half of bachelors died before married men.
And for married women who have got used to suffer alone and have not discussed problems in relations with the husband, such behavior inevitably leads to development of heart diseases and other illnesses and forms risk factors for death.
According to the psychologists, the received data bring to the forefront importance of the healthy communications in family and discussions of conflicts both for own health, and for health of the family relations.

Regret
You are worried that having suspended relations, you won’t be able to restore them? However consider that without such heavy relations you will find peace of mind. Probably, having looked at the problem from such angle you will regret, that have not ended these relations earlier. Losing or blocking source of negative, you open yourselves for pleasure and positive in your life.

Difficulty at break of friendly relations
It is difficult to put an end to ties of friendship even if they give you nothing, except for tears and grief. What to do(make)? This circle is very difficult for breaking off. You already know, that relations are hard and even harmful to you, and internal you already agree to stop them, only do not know, how to do it. For the beginning you will need all internal force and confidence that you deserve the best mutual relations. Usually “unhealthy” friendship quickly comes to an end, few times having faced refusal. If you do not show the initiative, relations “will wither” themselves.

Call of duty
You are friends from school. How to break off such old friendly relations? Remember, people change in due course, and your old friend is not that first-form boy, whom you knew 20 years ago.

Friends are necessary to support you and bring pleasure. Your task is to support and please them. If mutual relations start to bring only irritation, grief and pain - it is time to get rid of them.
The life is too short to spend it in grief and depression.
If you are surrounded by negatively disposed people whom you call friends, in some time you will become the melancholiac and grumbler. And joyful people opened to all world will make joyful too. Actually it is very easy to understand, whether relations are “unhealthy” - simply look what people surround you.

Desire to help
It is natural for people to help others. However there is a huge difference between the help and emotional dependence. And even if you sincerely wish to help friends, actually you can only harm them, if you will inject their negative emotions by attention and desire to listen. You can help your friend only if you give good advice instead of passive hearing. You will understand that you have really helped the friend: after such conversation you will not feel emotionally devastated, but on the contrary, full of positive energy - you have really helped.

Desire to be necessary
All of us would like to be necessary, important and needed, to be of use for others. If we are necessary for our friends we feel that we live knowingly. However this desire can also strongly harm to friendship.
For certain you had faced the situation, when you literally were used by someone whom you sincerely believed. Remember, there is very clear border between two “uses”: «to be useful» and «to be used». Remember, you deserve relations in which you not only give, but also take.

Fear to stay without friends
It is better to stay alone, than to spend time with people who literally make dirty your feeling of self-esteem. Such relations can strongly injure to your self-respect, and so that you wont be able to notice it. You will not stay alone, if you break such relations – don’t be afraid of it!