Family Tips

Do we frequently ask, what is a friendship? For certain each of us has his own answer and definition of the “friendship”. But whether we know, what is “harmful friendshipâ€?? After the dialogue with the person whom you consider a friend, try to ask yourself: «How do I feel after our meeting? Better or worse?»
This way is a quite good check to understand essence of any relations: professional, love, friendly. Simply ask this question, not wondering about the reasons of this or that answer to it. Your sensations are important only. The answer will, probably, surprise you.
Ask yourself, how many times did you feel like ruined and disappointed after dialogue with the best girlfriend or friend? How many time did it seem to you, what you are unwittingly humiliated? And the most important question - what for do you continue to keep in touch with people who give you nothing, except for harm, frustration and afflictions?
The reasons of such behavior can be different; however all of them are anyhow connected to emotions, sensations and desires listed in this article. Having understood the reasons inducing you to keep unnecessary and heavy relations, you will be able get rid of them, at last.

There is no manual which can give you a guarantee on painless for kids divorce process. Every family has its own history of relations. There are, however, some common advices that may make adjustment a little bit easier.
We will give parents a few suggestions to make the process less distressing for a child. But first of all, parents need to be patient and wait until time itself helps to begin the healing process.
Encourage your child to talk openly about his or her positive or negative feelings.
It’s very important for divorcing and divorced parents to encourage children to say what they’re thinking and feeling. But parents need to keep this separate from their own feelings. Very often children feel a sense of loss of family and may blame one of the parents or even both for what they realize as a betrayal.
As children get older and become more mature, they may have ask other questions or concerns that they hadn’t thought about before. Even if it seems to you, that everything is clear, keep the dialogue open.
If a parent feels like he or she gets too upset to help children, it is better to ask someone else to talk to the child about it.
It’s normal for kids to have many emotions. They may feel guilty, may be angry or frightened. They may be worried that they will be abandoned by or “divorced from” their parents.

Some kids can voice their feelings, others just won’t have the words, but all this depends on their age and development. Children may be angry or depressed. For school-age kids this usually becomes apparent by school marks, while younger children express their feelings in play.
It may seem attractive to tell a child the way he should feel, but parents should avoid that temptation. Children and adults, as well, have a right to their feelings.
Don’t defame your ex-spouse in front of your child, even if you’re still angry or are at odds with him or her. This is really one of the hardest things to do. But it’s very important for your child not to hear bad things about a parent. This is also very important to realize real events. If, for example, one spouse has just abandoned the family by moving out, you need to realize that that has happened. It isn’t responsibility of one parent to explain behavior of the other one - let him or her do that when he or she meets the child.
Parents should try not to use the child as a messenger, especially when they are in bad relations.
When possible, parents should directly communicate with each other about matters connecting with the child, scheduling, visitation, health or school problems.

New relationships, mixed families, and the next marriages always become the most complicated aspects of the divorce process. It goes without saying that a new family can not remove the impact of divorce. The resent studies have shown that children in these new families continue to feel the same problems as those who remain with a single parent. So, it’s important to provide a child with constant care of a mother and father.
Try to help your child to enter a new family structure. But you shouldn’t expect that your child will accept a step-parent as another parent right away.
Single parents need all the help they can get. And support from friends, relatives, and also children in the same situation often helps kids to meet others who’ve find a way to develop successful relationships with separated parents - children can often help and entrust in each other.
If possible, kids should be welcomed to have positive outlook on both parents, in spite of all circumstances of a painful divorce. Of course, it’s emotionally difficult for the parents, so even despite their best intentions, some parents pass their negative emotions, pain and anger.